Bella

Bella

     When I had four cats, Bella was the youngest of the brood. I dubbed her birthday as December 19th, 2010, because I discovered her behind the bathroom wall on January 19th, 2011. I knew she had to be at least a month old because she knew how to use a litter box: she knew what it was and used it accordingly. When she was born, I was out of town, visiting family for the holidays. Bella was not the offspring of any of my other cats; she was born to the resident stray, Jasmine.

     In the early morning hours of January 19th, 2011, while I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, I heard loud, high-pitched mews. At first, I thought it was one of my three cats (Moky, Gypsy, or Stormy), and I thought one of them was in the cabinet under the sink. I opened the cabinet doors and peered into the cabinet, but no cat was in there. I performed a cat-check, making sure all cats were accounted for. My next line of thinking was whether my cats were injured or in pain; no, they weren’t. Who was making that sound? Where was that sound coming from?

     When I heard the meowing again, I realized that it was coming from behind the bathroom wall – behind the toilet. During the previous summer, the maintenance guys came in to fix a water leak and, subsequently, knocked out a section of the wall behind the toilet, but they never came back to repair/rebuild the wall. I had to “repair” it myself, placing a piece of plywood behind the toilet. The plywood fit perfectly because part of the toilet tank was nearly snug against the wall (repositioned somewhat to level it out).

     I used to keep my bathroom door open during the night-time preparations, so all the cats would walk in and out of the bathroom as they pleased. When I realized the meowing was coming from behind the plywood piece (behind the wall), I “kicked” the cats out of the bathroom and closed the door. I removed the plywood piece, bent down, and peered into the hole. Staring back at me was a wide-eyed kitten. At first, she was wary of me, and she backed away a little. I wanted to get her out of the hole, but with the way the toilet was positioned, reaching for the kitten (who was backing away from me) would have been impossible for me. I had to use a tactic that would entice the kitten to come into the bathroom: I used a towel. Grabbing one end of the towel, I swished the other end outward toward the kitten and then slowly dragged the towel back toward me. I did this a few times so as to pique the kitten’s curiosity enough that she would follow the towel. It worked!

     Bella followed the towel into the bathroom and away from the wall’s hole and the toilet. Once she was in the middle of the room, I securely refit the plywood piece over the hole so that she couldn’t leave the same way she came in. My heart pounded from the moment I peered into those cute kitty eyes to the thought of what I was going to do with her. I hadn’t touched her until I secured a bed for her. I wiped her down with a wet washcloth to remove any of the debris she may have picked up as she wandered around the inner labyrinth between the apartments.

Bella the Kitten

      I also placed a small cardboard box (a soda lug) with litter in the bathroom, along with a bowl of water and a dish of food. Bella slept in the bathroom that night, sans the other cats for obvious reasons. Little did I know, at the time, that she would spend the rest of her life with me and the feline members of the family. At that moment, I didn’t have any idea what to do with her. I didn’t think I could keep her because I already had one more cat than I was supposedly allowed to have. Before I went to sleep for the night, I decided I would take her to the local humane society the next day. Fortunately, for me and for Bella, the local humane society couldn’t take her because she was too young; she had to be at least two months old.

Bella's First Video

     When I asked one of the volunteers at the humane society about taking the kitten, I was told she (Bella) had to be at least two months old. The volunteer also told me that even if they could take her, Bella probably would be put to sleep because of an overcrowding problem there. I said I would try to find a home for her, and if I couldn’t, I would probably keep her. I hope I never have to return to that place again. I believe in being truthful, but I don’t think the volunteer should have told me about Bella’s possible demise. What does that make me think about the local humane society? It makes me think it is a ruthless place. I wish they could turn the place into a no-kill shelter; then, at least, I would’ve been told it didn’t have room at that time to take Bella in.

     When I got back into the car, I told Bella she was going to be living with me. Back at the apartment, I put Bella into the bathroom and made sure she had enough food, water, and clean surroundings to satisfy her. She lived in the bathroom for about a month. My next step was acclimating her to her fellow feline friends (Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy). They were eager to meet their new sibling, but I knew that adjusting to her would take some time.

     Bella had her “outings” to meet the family, and the family responded with the usual hissing and growling from Moky and Gypsy; Stormy just stared at Bella as if she was some odd duck that entered the room. Kittens usually don’t care about who’s in the room with them; everything to a kitten is susceptible to play. She treated the others as playmates even if the others wanted nothing to do with her. I engaged all the cats in playtime when I let Bella roam the apartment. That way, they were able to adjust to her presence more easily.

     Bella was quite the curious kitten and as active as any kitten is. I made several videos of Bella and certain objects because of her rapt attention to them. To name a few: Bella and the Slipper, Bella and the Cursor Arrow, Bella and the Laser Beam,  and Bella and the Games for Cats app (on the iPad). 

Bella and the Cursor Arrow

     Because Bella was acclimated  to the other cats in a gradual fashion, Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy had an easier time getting to know her. Actually, Moky (my anti-social cat) steered clear of Bella when he could. I can just imagine what he thought, ‘What was Mommy thinking bringing in another girl!’ He also steered clear of Stormy and Gypsy when I adopted them.  Gypsy finally stopped growling and hissing at Bella. Stormy, finally, stopped staring at Bella like she was an alien from another planet. At first, I thought Stormy was playing the guardian of Bella because she stayed close by without actually interacting with Bella. However, now, I think Stormy was just curious and simply watched Bella’s antics. Stormy is more the mom-figure in the family because of her licking obsession. Yes, all (or most) cats lick themselves, but Stormy, if given the chance, will lick her fellow felines and me. She will lick us until one of us moves out of the way.

     Bella became a member of the family, and the adjustment was smooth for her, for her “siblings,” and for me. When Bella was finally allowed to mingle, socialize, and sleep with the other cats, she chose Stormy as her cuddle-buddy. This was probably because Stormy is the closest to her, age-wise. Stormy was four years old when I found Bella. Like Stormy did when she was a kitten, Bella snuggled with Moky and Gypsy AFTER they fell asleep. This was (and still is) the safest way to sleep with the enemy.

       Bella’s meow sounded painful, at times, and, at first, I wondered if this was a medical condition. The veterinarian didn’t find Bella’s meows disconcerting, so I figured that this is just how Bella was. Her meow sounded strained. I kept thinking she was in trouble, that she had gotten stuck in a cabinet or was too afraid to come down from a high place. After a while, I realized that this was just how Bella talked.

       When I moved from the old apartment to the new one (not so new now because I’ve been living here for over two years), Bella adjusted quickly to her new surroundings. She was still a kitten, after all, and anything new was an adventure to explore. She quickly found the space above the kitchen cabinets and settled in there. She loved running on the carpet and up and down the stairs. She loved lying on the window perches and looking out at the birds that flitted about. The old apartment had windows, but the view was of the parking lot and the other apartment building. The new apartment’s views are of the backyard and of the duplexes surrounding mine. The view is definitely an improvement because we (the cats and I) can see far beyond the immediate areas.

Bella on the Windowsill

        When Bella cuddled with me, she would first knead me. She would fall into a trance of sorts and knead with a consistent motion. Then, she would lie down and sleep for a bit. She always awakened when one of the other cats would stop by to visit me. She was a young cat who didn’t want to miss out on any opportunity to play or socialize with the other cats.

Bella Kneads Me

       Bella’s favorite pastime was playing the Games for Cats app I have on my iPad. Whenever I pulled out the device, Bella would come onto the desk and look imploringly at the device and then at me. Then, she would meow, as if asking, “Can I play with the mouse?” I usually gave in and opened the app, selected the mouse, and set the iPad on the desk so Bella could try to catch the elusive mouse.

Bella and the iPad game

Bella and the Games for Cats app

       All of that playing came to a screeching halt last November when Bella became sick. I had to attend a conference in Houston last November. When I came home, three of the four cats greeted me at the door. Bella was nowhere to be found. Off I went in search of her because something is amiss when even one cat is not at the door to welcome me home. Bella was lying on a blanket-covered set of drawers in my bedroom. She meowed, happy to see me, but she didn’t get up. At first, I wasn’t too concerned because my cats sleep the most during the day, and that is when I arrived home. I picked her up and hugged her. Then, I took her downstairs. She jumped up on the counter and laid there, near the water fountain. Still, this is not unusual. What was unusual for Bella was that she was not running around, chasing the laser beam or one of her siblings. She chose every opportunity to lie down.

       I called the vet Monday morning, and the receptionist told me I could bring Bella in on Thursday morning, at 9 A.M. I monitored Bella throughout the week. I made sure she had enough food and water. She slept often, too much even for a cat. I had to go to work, and while I was at work, I worried about her. By Wednesday night, Bella was in the worst shape I had ever seen. She was having breathing problems. At one point, she was lying at the top of the stairs and looking down at me. I ran upstairs to comfort her. I brought her food and water. Gypsy promptly ate the food, and Moky did his best to drink the water. In hindsight, I should’ve put Bella in the upstairs bathroom with a bed, a litter box, and dishes of food and water, just to keep the other cats from eating her food and drinking her water.

       When I thought she was at her worst, I frantically searched online for a local vet that was open or available for emergencies. I’m sad to say no such clinic exists locally for our furry friends. Since I couldn’t take her to a vet or animal hospital, the next best recourse was to be by her side throughout the night. I put a blanket on the floor next to my bed, with her food and water nearby. When I got into bed, Bella managed to come onto the bed and lie down at my feet. I had a very restless night because I kept waking up and wondering if Bella was still alive. Every time I awakened, I checked to see if Bella was still on the bed; she was. When I awakened for the day (Thursday, November 15, 2013), I already had it set in my head not to wait until her 9 A.M. appointment to take her to the vet but to take her when it opened at 8 A.M. I didn’t want to waste any more time than I already had. If I had known that she would worsen, symptom-wise, by mid-week, I would’ve taken her to the vet at the beginning of the week.

       Fortunately, the vet’s office was not busy at opening time, so Bella was examined right away. The doctor took some blood and ran a few tests. The diagnosis was the feline leukemia virus (FLV). Bella was in the advanced stage (stage 4) of the disease. All of her internal organs had been severely affected by the virus. Hope of a cure was gone. Bella was suffering greatly even though she was relatively quiet about it. The doctor told me there was nothing more that could be done to save Bella’s life. Now, I had to make the decision to keep her on life support or have her put to sleep. On life support, she still wouldn’t be able to come home to live with me and her siblings, and she would never be able to play again. It was a temporary solution to a terminal illness. I decided, then, that she would be better off in Heaven even though I would miss her terribly.

       The doctor also told me that the FLV was highly contagious to other cats (not contagious at all to humans). That news raised several red flags: Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy were all in contact with Bella almost from the first day I found her. Wednesday night, Gypsy slept in the same room with Bella, and Stormy licked Bella’s head. Moky drank from her water dish, and Gypsy ate from Bella’s food dish. Then, panic struck, and I feared my other cats would succumb to this terrible disease. The doctor told me the other three cats had to be tested for the FLV. He also told me that there was a strong chance the other cats would test negative for the virus because they are older cats, and older cats have a stronger immune system. I was relieved to hear that. Stormy  was the youngest of the three cats (5 years old at the time), so I was worried about her contracting the virus from Bella.

       Saturday of that week, my friend Nelda helped me take the cats to the vet to be tested for the FLV. It turned out that Bella’s test was the last one the office had in stock. I was exasperated then because the receptionist should’ve made it a point to check for more tests in stock and could’ve told me Thursday that there were no more tests on the shelves. I waited another week and took the three cats in the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving. Thankfully, all three cats tested negative for the FLV. Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy also received their annual rabies vaccinations during these visits.

Negative FLV Tests for Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy

        I cried from the day Bella died to well into the new year (2013). She was a part of my family for just a short time (almost two years), but she was a joy to have in my family (as are Moky, Gypsy, and Stormy). I never experienced something as tragic as this, and I never imagined that I would go through something so devastating to me. I went through the scenario over and over in my head – could I have done something to prevent her from getting sick in the first place? The doctor told me he figured Bella had the gene – that it was hereditary – that she had gotten it from one of her parents. That lessened the pain of wondering if I could’ve done anything to keep her from getting sick, but I don’t think it lessened the grief I felt.

       The doctor gave me three options as to what I wanted to do with Bella’s body. I could take her home and bury her in the yard, I could leave her there to be buried with other dead pets, or I could have her cremated and take her ashes home with me. I opted to have her cremated because I couldn’t bear to have her buried with other animals, and I couldn’t bury her in my yard because I’m renting this place. About two weeks after her death, the vet’s office receptionist called to tell me Bella’s ashes were ready to be picked up. Her ashes were contained in a suede-felt bag and placed in a decorative, wooden box. I put the box on the shelf in the living room. Her box now sits next to my mom’s box. In a sense, Bella still resides with us.

       In less than a month, the first-year anniversary of Bella’s death will be upon us. I knew I had to write this post and publish it before that anniversary arrived, but I didn’t realize how long it would take me to post it in the Catz-n-Tam blog. I started this post in August, and I didn’t get a chance to finish it until October. I thought I could finish it earlier, but once school begins, I am too busy to do other tasks unrelated to school/work. I’ve been very busy with teaching, grading, and other work-related activities. I also thought I would have a difficult time writing this particular post because it was about Bella. When I started the post in August, I relived the memories, and I had to put it off because of the welled-up emotions that started to surface. In a sense, I’m glad the semester’s tasks took hold because they helped me cope with the memories. They didn’t erase the memories; thankfully, nothing can take those memories away.

Bella on the Cabinet